| Date: 14 April 2011, 07:03
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"The guy walking past was wearing a shirt five sizes too big (innovated by gangbangers to hide guns in their waistbands), shorts down below his knees (innovated by surfers to save their thighs from getting sunburned), and oversized shoes (innovated by skaters to save their feet from injury). Together all of these once-practical ideas made the guy look like he'd been hit by a shrink ray and was about to disappear into his clothes screaming, 'Help me!' in an ever-tinier voice."
Why did our ninth grader begin wearing pajama pants to school? Why, when she wears them, must the top of those pajama pants be folded over just so, to reveal the tag and the inside of the waistband? Why did Target start carrying rack after rack of pajama pants in dozens of patterns?
How about a couple of years ago, when all of the kids I knew began either buying peds or feeling compelled to fold their regular white socks down into their shoes so that no part was revealed to the public? Why did they begin to lace their shoes in a manner that caused the kids to fall out of them every fifth step (or to land on their faces if they actually tried running in them)?
Why, also a number of years back, did an army of girls begin wearing sweatshirts over only their arms?
It doesn't matter at which middle school I booktalk. Wherever I look, the kids will simultaneously begin making the same "fashion statement."
And does anybody really think that Britney, Madonna, Christina, or Beyonce themselves think up those looks that are eagerly copied by millions?
"One thing about being a Cool Hunter, you realize one simple fact: Everything has a beginning.
"Nothing always existed. Everything had an Innovator."
Hunter Braque is a Cool Hunter. Jen Jones is an Innovator. Their chance meeting in Manhattan's East River Park leads to a wild and intense three day roller coaster ride for the pair, and takes readers on a reality trip into the big stakes world of fashion fads and trends.
I'm no babe in the woods, myself. I'm a guy with a degree in Business, who once earned an "A" in Marketing as manager of the group that won that semester's computer-simulated car manufacturing competition. But I picked up all sorts of fascinating information while my eyes were glued to SO YESTERDAY. For instance, Hunter tells this story which actually ties in with those three days we follow Jen and him through New York City:
"Start with a mollusk, wind up with an empire.
"Sounds tricky, but the Phoenicians managed it about four thousand years ago. Their tiny sliver of a kingdom was wedged between the Mediterranean Sea and a vast desert: no gold mines, no olive trees, no amber waves of grain anywhere in sight. The only thing the Phoenicians had going for them was a certain species of shellfish, commonly found lying around down at the beach. These shellfish were tasty but had one problem--if you ate too many of them, your teeth turned purple.
"Naturally, most people were annoyed by this. They probably said stuff like, 'Those shellfish aren't bad, but who wants purple teeth?' and didn't think much more about it.
"Then one day an ancient Innovator got this crazy idea...
"Okay, imagine you live in Egypt or Greece or Persia back then and you're rich. You've got all the gold, olive oil, and grain you want. But all you ever get to wear is cloth robes that come in the following colors: light beige, medium beige, dark beige. You've seen the Bible movies: everyone's totally decked out in earth tones--that's all they had, that's all they could imagine having.
"Then one day along comes a boatload of Phoenicians, and they're selling purple cloth. Purple!
"Throw that beige wardrobe away!
"For a while purple is the thing, the biggest fad since that whole wheel craze. After a lifetime spent wearing sixteen shades of beige, everyone's lining up to buy the cool new cloth. The price is crazy high, partly due to demand and partly because it happens to take about 200,000 shellfish to make one ounce of dye, and pretty soon the Phoenicians are rolling in dough (actually they're rolling in gold, olive oil, and grain, but you get the picture).
"A trading empire is born. And talk about branding: Phoenicia is the ancient Greek word for 'purple.' You are what you sell.
"After a while, however, an interesting thing happens. The people in charge decide that purple is too cool for just anyone to wear. First they put taxes on purple cloth, then pass a law against the hoi polloi wearing purple (as if they could afford it), and finally make purple robes the sole property of kings and queens.
"Over the centuries this dress code becomes so widespread and so ingrained that even now, four thousand years later, the color purple is still associated with royalty throughout Europe. And all this because an Innovator who lived forty centuries ago figured he could make something cool out of the purple-teeth problem."
I've been a major fan and advocate of THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO LARRY and FEED, two outstanding books that include themes of American consumer compulsion and overindulgence. SO YESTERDAY is one heck of a companion to both of these titles. Through Hunter and Jen's harrowing adventures amid abandoned buildings, fancy parties, electronic spy networks, and high tech double-crosses, readers will surely look in the mirror and wonder who is responsible for this week's "New Look."
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