Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want | Date: 28 April 2011, 05:51
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Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want
By Ronald J. Frederick
* Publisher: Jossey-Bass
* Number Of Pages: 208
* Publication Date: 2009-03-03
* ISBN-10 / ASIN: 0470377038
* ISBN-13 / EAN: 9780470377031
Product Description:
In LIVING LIKE YOU MEAN IT, author Ronald J. Frederick, does a brilliant job of describing why people are so afraid of their emotions and how this fear creates a variety of problems in their lives. While the problems are different, the underlying issue is often the same. At the core of their distress is what Dr. Frederick refers to as feelings phobia. Whether it s the experience of love, joy, anger, sadness, or surprise, our inborn ability to be a fully feeling person has been hijacked by fear--and it s fear that s keeping us from a better life.
The book begins with a questionnaire-style list that help readers take an honest look at themselves and recognize whether and how they are afraid of their feelings. It then moves on to explore the origins of fear of feeling and introduces a four-part program for overcoming the fear: (1) Become aware of and learn to recognize feelings--anger, sadness, joy, love, fear, guilt/shame, surprise, disgust. (2) Master techniques for taming the fear. (3) Let the feeling work its way all the way through to its resolution. (4) Open up and put those feelings into words and communicate them confidently. With wisdom, humor, and compassion, the book uses stories and examples to help readers see that overcoming feelings phobia is the key to a better life and more fulfilling relationships.
Summary: Helpful and Not Preachy
Rating: 5
Living Like You Mean It is a wonderful way to not only help you learn to be mindful of what you are feeling but to accept your emotions as well.
Frederick's conversational tone in the book made me feel like he truly wanted to help me work through what I now recognize is a real fear of my emotions.
Never once did I feel like he was preaching at me or talking to the masses. He truly understands how hard it can be for people to deal with their emotions and thus takes things nice and easy with plenty examples from real case studies.
Definitely a must read for anyone who struggles with emotional mindfulness and acceptance.
Summary: How and Why Good Therapy Works
Rating: 5
I am a psychotherapist and am just finishing Living Like You Mean It by Dr. Ron Frederick. I'm enjoying his engaging, elegant and clear writing style. I will be giving this book to patients to provide them with a roadmap for therapy (which they, understandably, want!) and some user-friendly, support and validation for feeling the full arc of one's feelings in and out of my office so they can benefit from the internal resources released as a result. My guess is that a patient who reads this book will experience more transformation, healing and development from his/her personal therapy and more quickly, than had he/she not read it. I also recommend this book to other therapists. Wonderful contribution!
Summary: Extraordinarily Powerful and Compelling
Rating: 5
Have you ever sat around thinking, "My life is great. Things seem to be going well for me!" Only, on the inside you're sad, anxious or depressed? I didn't realize I was doing this until after reading Dr. Ronald J. Frederick's new book, LIVING LIKE YOU MEAN IT. As the cover states, he shows us how to use the wisdom and power of our emotions to get the lives we really want. He has an uncanny way of encouraging us to look deep within ourselves to see the truth behind our actions. This makes LIVING LIKE YOU MEAN IT a powerful and compelling read.
LIVING LIKE YOU MEAN IT really seems designed to connect with any level of reader. Dr. Frederick takes what could be a very complex topic - battling with ourselves to change beliefs that we have held since childhood - and put them in an easy to understand and easy to use format. Part One deals with preparation. Dr. Frederick allows us to use self discovery to observe our actions and break them down into parts we can analyze. He explains the basis for certain emotions and why we as a culture tend to push our emotions down, choosing to smother them rather than releasing them. Using recent research on the brain and body, Dr. Frederick shows us how emotions are tied to our thoughts and can greatly influence our lives.
After getting some great background info, both about emotional mindfulness and our own personal emotions, Dr. Frederick takes us into the action phase of reorganizing our emotions. Part Two shows us how to increase our emotional awareness and determine where our defenses come from. Now that we can recognize our feeling phobias he shows us how to tamp that fear down and allow ourselves to ride the waves of our emotions from beginning to the peak and finally to their release.
If you had asked me weeks ago if I bottled up my emotions or if I let them control my life, I would have told you, "Absolutely not!" I am the master of me...aren't I? I found myself perusing the pages of LIVING LIKE YOU MEAN IT, gradually flipping faster and faster as Dr. Frederick's words struck a chord in my heart. His examples and tell tale signs of working against one's emotions instead of with them actually rang true with me! I'm not ashamed to admit that I discovered a lot about myself between the covers of LIVING LIKE YOU MEAN IT. For a book, a simple collection of dried plant fibers, that really says something.
One of the most useful aspects of the book, aside from the great layout and formatting, was the way Dr. Frederick included stories from composites of actual patients. Each story was about a different individual and his or her challenge to learn that their emotions were not a force to be reckoned with, but rather a helping hand, guiding them through life. I think it is safe to say that there is at least one story, one real life example in LIVING LIKE YOU MEAN IT that everyone can relate to. I myself know that at least two of the stories reflect events in my life to a T.
Dr. Frederick's stories help the reader to connect with his vision, but it is really the flow of his words that pulls the reader in. This book is not at all written like a dry academic texts or even one of those dry self-help books. No, this is written more like Dr. Frederick is in the room talking with you and only you. As he speaks his words magically appear on the paper. That's really the best way I have to describe it. It really feels like you are curled up in some comfy chair chatting with a good friend. In my opinion, that's one of the best ways to connect with people and I think Dr. Frederick nailed it.
Summary: great book for clinicians and for everyone
Rating: 5
Great book for clinicians and for people looking to live more full lives by feeling their feelings in order to heal. We are a society who are affect phobic and when we do express feelings, we only discharge them in unhealthy ways. This book, and approach, is excellent for people to learn healthier ways of living more fully by being more in touch with their authentic selves. Great guide!
Summary: Learning how to be your own caregiver.
Rating: 5
One thing I like so much about "Living Like You Mean It" is the way Dr. Ron Frederick teaches by example. By sharing his personal stories, Dr. Frederick shows people that they're not alone and that can be very calming. The lessons in this book teach us about how to get to know ourselves and to listen to our inner voice. Dr. Frederick speaks to us from his heart with gentleness and compassion.
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