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One of the most common question in the sex advice forums is "How Can I Last Longer In Bed?"
Here's the long and short of it: you can develop ejaculatory control which will allow you to make sex last longer!
So here are our top tips for you to last longer in bed:
Use masturbation as a way to train yourself to last longer before you ejaculate. Bring yourself to the edge of ejaculation - then exercise your will-power and stop! Do this with dedication and focus, so that you don't tip over into ejaculation. If you allow your arousal to drop, then resume masturbation, and repeat the same process several times, you will not only become more aware of your "point of ejaculatory inevitability", but you will also develop the skill of knowing when to stop stimulation during sex so that you don't ejaculate and can last longer in bed. What this means in practice is stopping thrusting when you feel you are approaching the point of ejaculation. To last longer, you then need to remain motionless for a while until your impending ejaculation has faded, and then you can resume thrusting. Of course, there is a lot more to the full method of training yourself to last longer in bed which you can read about here.
Know the tips ands tricks which help you to last longer in bed.
For example, you can withdraw your penis from her vagina and stop thrusting for a few moments during lovemaking. This will let your arousal drop and you can then re-enter her and continue making love. Though simple, this is one of the most effective ways of learning how to last longer in bed.
Another method is to withdraw from her vagina and then to press on your perineum - the area between your scrotum and anus. There's one particular spot where pressure will help you to stop ejaculating - obviously it is easier to do this if you have the help of your partner. It may take a while to find the exact spot, but when you do the decrease in your desire to ejaculate may be considerable.
We don't recommend the "squeeze" technique, because this can simply be painful and it doesn't really work anyway - if you apply enough pressure to decrease your desire to ejaculate, the pain is unpleasant and it feels more like an assault on your penis than anything else.
Although that may help you last longer in bed, it's not an ideal way of achieving that objective. Here are some great tips for lasting longer:
Become aware of your arousal at all times during sex.
Which is not to say that you should become obsessed with self-monitoring, since this can remove your focus from the pleasure of sex and introduce an element of conscious focus which detracts from the spontaneity of sex. But you can occasionally shift your attention to how aroused you are, using the skills you learned with the masturbation exercise above. If you rate your arousal during sex on a scale from 1 - 10, and aim to keep your arousal below the number which you know represents your point of ejaculatory inevitability, then you can control your ejaculation more effectively and make sex last longer.
Kegel exercises
Although you often read that Kegel exercises are a great way to control ejaculation, this is simply untrue: learning to contract your Kegel muscles will not help you last longer in bed. It is almost impossible to clamp down or contract the pubococcygeus muscle hard enough to prevent ejaculation, and the effort required certainly spoils sex anyway. Rather, develop a well toned PC muscle to increase your enjoyment of sex, thrusting, ejaculation, and orgasm. Don't try and use it to control ejaculation. The people who recommend this as a means of lasting longer in bed or lasting longer during sex have almost certainly never tried to do it themselves!
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