First Meetings Vs. First Dates | Date: 11 April 2011, 16:51
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WHAT'S INSIDE: What is the REAL advantage to "first meetings" vs.
"first dates"?
We covered everything from what to do if you have no car and no
money, to what to do if you have TOO MUCH money.
When you listen to the replay you can also expect to get some
amazing ideas for where to take women, of course, along with some
gonzo secrets to getting her to actually come to YOUR PLACE.
And there's a ton more, of course.
Now if you WERE on the call, you've probably taken full advantage
of that ridiculous deal I've nicknamed "Six Dozen Experts".
Check it out. Co-hosts Brad Jackson and Bill Preston KNEW I was
going to tell everyone on the call about their amazing Guru Black
Book program, which features over two dozen world-class experts.
THE ADVANTAGES OF FIRST MEETINGS VS. FIRST DATES
On Thursday night's call about where to take women on first dates,
Brad, Bill and I talked quite a bit about the concept of "first
meeting" vs. "first date".
And we disagreed some--albeit in a friendly way--over whether or not
it was a good idea to actually CALL a meeting with a woman you're
romantically interested in a "date".
There was even some commotion over whether a "first meeting" and a
"first date" are the SAME THING or not.
Some good points were made. If you weren't on the call, you can
hear 'em all using the replay link above.
But there was ONE thing that we DIDN'T cover that I wanted to touch
base with you about, and this newsletter presents the perfect
opportunity.
Assuming there IS a difference between a "first meeting" and a
"first date", what are those differences?
And what's more, what are the real-world advantages of "first
meetings" over "first dates"?
Quickly, let's get that first question out of the way.
For all intents and purposes here, we'll treat the term "first
date" as referring to an event where both the man and the woman
KNOW they're there because they're romantically involved.
A "first meeting", on the other hand, is a meeting between a man
and a woman where the "romantic intent" is still undecided, or at
the very least hasn't been verbally clarified yet.
So in other words, if you ask out someone who you work with or who
is in one of your college classes, it's safe not to kid
yourself--she's going to know you're interested in her, and you can
pretty much guess she's at least potentially interested in you.
After all, you've already MET each other before.
But if you've been e-mailing some chick online back and forth and
finally pull the trigger on seeing what she's like in person, THAT
get-together would be a "first meeting".
In that case you're actually MEETING for the FIRST time.
Fair enough?
Okay, then.
On the surface, you might imagine that it would universally ROCK to
be on a "first date" rather than a "first meeting". After all, the
"intentions" are out on the table.
But not so fast.
Here are two compelling reasons why "first meetings" might result
in GREATER OVERALL DATING SUCCESS because, perhaps ironically, they
can actually lead to BETTER "first dates":
1) You Create An Extra Level Of Anticipatory Energy
Sure, someone you've never met before could have completely
misrepresented herself, resulting in an awkward situation when
you're finally face-to-face.
But let's assume things go well.
Because you had never met the woman before, you correctly planned a
brief, inexpensive meeting just to pre-evaluate each other.
You know, a morning rendezvous at Starbucks for 30 minutes before
you both had to go to work, for example.
Short and sweet...with a hard stop.
Since things went well, you KNOW already that there's attraction.
When you say you want to see her again and she agrees, you've
immediately got something to LOOK FORWARD TO.
And compared to the situation when two people who've KNOWN each
other for a while (or even a little while, for that matter) go on a
"first date", this is ALL BRAND NEW.
The particularly intense "anticipatory energy" that ensues all but
ensures that your actual "first date" will be practically ELECTRIC.
She'll be like a little kid at Christmastime counting down the
minutes.
That doesn't suck.
2) The Pressure Is Off The Table
OK, here's where the "ninja genius" of going on a "first date"
AFTER going through the motions of a "first meeting" really grabs a
hold of your collar and shakes you.
Check it out. Since you've ALREADY agreed to see each other again,
you KNOW there's some mutual attraction there.
As such, the dreaded "first date pressure" is completely in the
rear-view mirror (or should be, at least).
You can actually plan something somewhat "date-ish" (e.g. ice
skating, not "Morton's - The Steakhouse") with confidence, pretty
much assured that a TOTAL disaster is likely not looming ahead.
Oh, and by the way...psychologically, such a "first date" will FEEL
like a "second date". It's as if the whole "first date" ritual
was BYPASSED completely.
This means, among other things, that if she doesn't usually "kiss
on the first date", she might kiss you on THIS one after all. Get
the idea?
So let's sum this up.
When you go out with someone you know socially already, you've got
to make sure you get all aspects of a full-on "first date" down
pat. That can involve a lot of pressure...if you let it.
But when you DON'T know someone very well, you should have a "get
to know you meeting" first. In that context, brevity and the low
cost factor aren't only acceptable, they're EXPECTED.
So in that "first meeting" scenario, you get the uncomfortable
(i.e. bad) aspects usually associated with a "first date" out of
the way QUICKLY and WITHOUT HASSLE.
Then, you're ACTUAL "first date" with that person is highly
anticipated but pressure-free (i.e. good). Let the "fireworks"
begin.
Outstanding. Chalk one up for online dating...and maybe blind dates.
Blind dates? Let's cover THAT one next time.
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